What Do You Want?

(Reflection written on 22/11/08)

John 1:35-39
The next day John was there again with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he said, "Behold, the Lamb of God." The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, "What are you looking for?" They said to him, "Rabbi" (which translated means Teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come, and see."

I imagine myself walking with my friend behind Jesus, curious, searching. As we followed at a safe distance behind, Jesus turns around and, looks at me in the eye and asks, “Lawrence, what are you looking for?”

What do you want?
To know that You are happy with me – that I am alright, that I am where I am meant to be, who you want me to be; that I am at the right place, in the right direction – to hear the words, “You are my beloved son, with whom I am pleased”. To hear these words from another is comforting, encouraging. The harder part is to be able to hear them from oneself. Do I feel that I am where I am to be? Am I who I want to be?

I am gratefully certain that in terms of my career, I am at exactly the right place, where God has called me & helped me to get to. Physically, I am capable and health (although must keep a better diet). What about personally and spiritually?

I know that I am far from ideal in my faith, relationships, will, fortitude, love. I am called to much higher ground than where I am now. However, I know also that I am searching; desiring & striving to improve, to learn, to grow. I am open to receive. I know that God is with me – helping me, guiding me always; loving me. “Ask and you will receive; search and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9)

So, I am happy. I am where I want to be, who I am – and so, going where I want to go. And where is this taking me? Jesus replies,
“Come and see”.